Posted by: Nancy Brown | May 11, 2007

The way to lose friends….

I am in a support group of amazing women.  The bloggers that I have met have made my day the last few days. Anne ( who doesn’t blog YET) had a particularly frustrating day with some moms of FT( Full Term) babies and shared her sarcasm…. WHICH I LOVED!! So I decided to pass on her sarcasm to you. Why? Because I feel the exact same way and then some.

 1)  When someone suggests for the hundredth time “so maybe (fill in your child’s name) is just a pickey eater” tell them that to be a “pickey” eater implies the baby eats something. If the child eats nothing, the child cannot, by definition, be a pickey eater, the child would be a “non-eater”.

2)   When they say “have you tried to feed her (fill in the food peas/pasta/squash/ cherrios/ etc)” look them in the eye with great shock and say “oh my goodness, you’re supposed to give her the food to try? I was waiting for her to learn how to open the fridge herself and get her own food!”

NO KIDDING!!! Come on people. Trust us.. ask us and we probably know evey trick in the book. PLUS we know how many calories are in it and when you puree it to feed it in something else we know how many cc’s there are.

3)  When you are confronted with someone who proudly announces their child is in the 100th percentile for weight and looks at you with pity because you kiddo is not even on the chart for his/her adjusted age, feel free to let them know that the 100th percentile means they have the fattest kid in the bunch and that it is not the same as being in the 100th percentile on the SATs.

LOVE IT.. Of course we can see that your baby is “fat.” Do you really need to “remind” us. Call when you jump up and down for a 3 oz gain in a month. OR when you no longer have weekly weight checks. 

4)When they’ve given birth to a full size model baby and ask for your baby’s hand me downs, let them know that you’ve been saving a ton of money because your baby still fits into the 3-6 month size clothes even though she is 14 months actual. Give them your address to send you their kid’s hand me downs.

Ty still fits in six month stuff ( around) but not length wise. HAHA!! ( laughing harder)

5) When someone stares in amazement because your petite chou chou can stand up but looks like she’s 5 months old, feel free to point out that she is extremely advanced for her age and look sadly at their full size 11 month old who can’t stand (possibly because he/she is in that chubby 100th percentile).

6) And my last rant for the night … feel free to smack those parents whose kids were born weighing 9 pounds at 36 and 6 days and came home  24 hours after being born and insist upon calling them preemies.

Oh.. that one just cracks me up. Call me when you have a 2 pounder ok!! And don’t pretend you *get it* cause chances are you DON’T.  Oh and don’t think that all the ultrasounds to measure are right on either. So if you elect an *early* birth and end up in the NICU don’t come crying to us. And stop complaining about being pregnant…

RANT OVER!!! I think… Or at least for today..


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